The Ill-Fated

Excerpt from a fictional book I am writing:

It was a crisp October night and the rain poured against the windowpane in Astrid’s bedroom. Tommy lit his last cigarette and slowly inhaled and exhaled. Astrid moved toward him from across the room, untangling herself from Brady’s arms. 

She looked at Tommy with needing eyes, “Please Tommy, I haven’t had a smoke all day” 

“No Astrid” he replied. Tommy never called Astrid Attie, all her other friends did, except for Tommy. 

She sat across from him on the bed, knees pulled under her, her bright blue gaze meeting his dark brown cold eyes. Tommy’s eyes never used to be cold, when they were kids, his eyes were Astrid's favorite color. Her favorite color crayon as a kid was brown, not dark brown, not light brown, not beige, just simply brown. It reminded her of Tommy, and Astrid loved Tommy. She loved how simple his eyes were, how truly plain they were. She would color with the same crayon over and over again until she made her parents go out and buy her more.

She continued looking at him, holding his gaze. He inhaled again, blowing the smoke in her direction. 

Tommy first fell in love with the color of Astrid’s eyes. They were like nothing he had ever seen before. She was nothing like he had ever seen before. 

“It’s my last cigarette Astrid, I’m not giving you my last cigarette, no, the answer is no.” he stated, matter of factly. 

Astrid said nothing, she just continued to hold his gaze.

This was the deal between Astrid and Tommy, she knew she had this power of him, he knew it too. They never spoke of it, no one did, but they all knew it was there. Astrid’s eyes made Tommy fall to his knees, and he hated her for it. He hated her for making him feel weak, for making him feel anything at all really. And Tommy had a power over Astrid, without him she couldn't stay grounded, Tommy was the first person she would call if something went wrong, if she needed to make a decision, if she needed to cry, if she needed to laugh, yell or do anything really, Tommy was there. 

The truth was, she didn't know how to live without Tommy. But Tommy knew how to live without Astrid, he just didn’t want to, he was selfish like that sometimes. 

Their eyes stayed locked as he inhaled one last time, exhaling while passing the cigarette across the bed toward the delicate hands waiting for him. 

Astrid smiled wide and inhaled gently, tilted her head back and exhaled. Tommy just watched her, his eyes never leaving her face, he had this look of sorrow on his face, not that he ever showed much emotion, but if you looked close enough, you could tell. It looked as if he was afraid he looked away, she would disappear.  

Astrid let out a chuckle as she took the last drag, reaching across the bed, she turned the stereo up and laid out across the bed, staring back at Brady, watching his features delicately. 

He was talking to Delaih about the song that was playing, Astrid couldn’t quite hear them over the sound of the music and the rain. 

She watched his hands move as he talked, she watched his green eyes move across Delaih’s face, she watched his blonde curls move slightly as he let out a deep laugh. While she was watching Brady, Tommy was watching her. 

Tommy watched her red thick curls fan out across the bed, he watched her sparkling blue eyes dance across Brady’s face, he watched her chest rise and fall rapidly, as if she could feel his eyes on her. He watched her knowing he would never have her. Truth was, Astrid would always be the girl Tommy would give his last cigarette too, nothing more.